An original Pesach story by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz
"Ai, ai, ai," the beshtreimeled Rebbe sighed as he closed his eyes in what appeared to be intense concentration.
His family and a few select guests of the Rebbe's Seder waited in anticipation for the Rebbe to speak, awaited his Chassidic discourse on the allegorical Four Sons of the Haggadah.
After a few, long minutes, the Rebbe's eyes flew open. "Der chochem, vaws zogt er?" the Rebbe asked, translating into Yiddish the opening of the paragraph of the Wise Son. "The chochem," the Rebbe continued, "asks about the laws and labors, about the whys and wherefores that HaKodesh Boruch Hu has commanded us to do. The chochem - pay attention - mentions Der Aybershter in his question, and he wants to know about HaShem's mitzvehs."
Just as the gathered guests and family members were beginning to be drawn in to the Rebbe's explanation, expecting a bit deeper exegesis, perhaps, but captivated nonetheless, there was a bang on the table from the far end, opposite the Rebbe. All heads whipped around - who could so interrupt the Rebbe? After a split-second of uncomprehending silence, all heads whipped back to look at the head of the table. Then, another split-second delay, and again looks shot towards the far end of the table. There, opposite the Rebbe, like a mirror image, sat... the Rebbe.
"Maybe he's got a twin?" one guest suggested.
But the family members were too much in shock, so it appeared to be something far more unusual than an identical twin. The Rebbe - that is, the first one, the one at the head of the table - just looked at his counterpart with a complacent grin.
The 'far-end Rebbe' spoke suddenly, talking directly to the Rebbe opposite him, "Nu? What is all this?" he demanded, "Why do you even bother? Does it look like your brilliant mind should be used to address these fools? Why waste it on tedious explanations - and even those thrown like pearls before swine?"
Before the assembled Seder guests could assimilate what was being said, what was happening, yet another 'Rebbe', also identical to the first two, came into the room, carrying a chair. He pulled it up and placed it in between two of the Rebbe's sons, seated along the right side of the long table. The sons looked at the 'third Rebbe', back at the 'first Rebbe' and back at the one between them.
"Hiya, boyess!" the 'third Rebbe' said and, smiling broadly, grabbed his sons around the shoulders and squeezed. Looking up and seeing the 'first Rebbe' and the 'far-end Rebbe', he exclaimed in perplexed shock, pointing a shaking finger back and forth between the Rebbes, "Vaws - iz - dos!?"
In reply, there was suddenly a very loud yawn from across the table. There, seated slumped back in his chair, was yet another identical Rebbe. He looked slowly at the 'third Rebbe', shrugged his shoulders and said, "Don't worry about it. Another trick of some kind. Who cares?"
None of the guests could move. Fright, curiosity and confusion paralyzed them all. The Rebbe's family members, while more mobile, still remained in their places, waiting to see what would happen next.
The Rebbe's wife stood up and asked, "Which of you is the real Rebbe?"
The Rebbe at the head of the table stood up and said, "We all are, mein tayere. But as I see this is a bit confusing for us all...." He turned to the other 'Rebbes' and said, "Gentlemen, would you please join me in the study?"
The four Rebbes, who were one Rebbe, got up from their places and followed the 'first Rebbe' into a side room, lined with books.
As soon as the Rebbes disappeared into the room, the guests and the Rebbe's family members seated around the table began talking all at once, sometimes shouting, sometimes crying. No one had any ideas what as to what was happening, or why, but all agreed it was a miraculous event.
As the noise level climbed and more and more guests were out of their seats, gesticulating, shouting, pacing, the Rebbe's study door opened with a loud, sudden click.
Into the ensuing silence, walked one, lone Rebbe. His white beard flowing like the white kittel he wore, the Rebbe quickly, silently crossed through the room and sat again at the head of the table. Picking up the Haggadah, the Rebbe began flipping through the pages, as if he were about to continue from where he stopped.
"Excuse me, Tateh," the youngest son of the Rebbe, aged 10, asked tentatively, "where are all the other Tatehs?"
All eyes focused on the Rebbe.
"Well, we came to a negotiated agreement," the Rebbe said, looking at his son. "The Rasha Rebbe agreed only to come when the Apathetic, Unquestioning Rebbe is taking up too much of my time, to try and get him motivated, even if not for the best of reasons. The Apathetic Rebbe agreed to come only when the Rasha Rebbe is asking questions that he doesn't really want the answers to, rather when he is simply being contrary for the sake of argument or out of fear. A little apathy there would tone Rasha Rebbe down a bit. The Tam Rebbe agreed to come only if and when the Chochem Rebbe forgets to enjoy the wonder of the mitzvehs, as is, without detailed explanations. And the Chochem agreed to come in the event that the Tam Rebbe is so taken by the superficial splendor, he forgets to learn about what he is seeing and why."
Looking now from face to face at the Seder, the Rebbe said, "You see, we are all partially all of the Four Sons. Sometimes they fight, but the real baalhabayis over his own soul forces them to work together, in balance."
"Nu? Any questions?" he asked.
